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I see what you mean. I often wanna becom a high-level hacker just so I can satisfy my hunger for destruction and feel smarter than most people. God loves you. Praying and asking HIM for help could NEVER hurt. It could ONLY 'help'. :) And if you do not desire to 'plan', then 'try' to avoid the 'murderous' thoughts and emotions that you have to keep yourself out of trouble. Does this cause 'anxiety' and 'depression'? I hope not.. I hope there are good 'supports' you can find and have that you can have an open honest dialogue with if these sort of future occurrences are more frightening than planned for appropriately. Planned parenting is also a good idea rather than 'meeting' it head on if it should come your way. Sooner or later though, the youth will need to be able to pay for the monthly bills on his or her own regardless of job quality. And not only that but the population of the U.S doesn't seem to be seen as 'decreasing' in any near future which means less 'jobs' open and more 'populations' added. But because 'work' is needed regardless of if the 'qualities' are met, the job can be only beneficial only for 'survival' purposes, for some, to which many seem to find 'detours' from. The older generations don't understand too much of this but the younger generations might. Why pump gas or flip burgers if i can hang out and still get what I need and maybe even 'more' than if I was working at the gas station or the fast food store. Work and seeking a 'job' is beneficial if there are 'jobs' being offered that can meet both the physical and mental needs to keep a person 'awake' and 'alive' enough to get up day to day, week to week. I hope you know what I mean. And of course, with too much time on your hands, your mind will begin conjuring up more 'creative' things to compensate for having 'nothing' to do of worth. How's your video games playing coming along? Getting 'jaded' yet? In today's time(s) nothing needs to be 'earned' anymore. Mostly everything can be 'given' and 'received'. And so to hang around and receive seems to be what the 'normal' is becoming rather than going out and 'actually physically and legitimately earning'. Maybe you were diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder because you have nothing to do around your home and in your life? For someone with MDD, you sure seem to have alot of unburnt up energies lurking inside of you. Yeah your brain is probably broken/deformed. Have some compassion You may want to consider modifying your diet and lifestyle. Diet was shown to affect levels of aggression. [1][2]None of this makes you a psycho-path. the fact that you think your psycho-pathetic is good(many don't)

but unless you A)have had a very abusive childhood(sexually or psychical) and B) like to torturing small animals on your coffee break..you should be fine...

if its any help, I too jump on gta and games like it just to kill every npc I see and I would also like to add that playing the Evil path in most games is more fun/harder then good. I'm also a Big Cold case fan, relax your not alone. e.g. - I can't play video games anymore because I just get sidetracked immediately with killing whoever I can, in the most creative manner I can. I naturally sympathize with serial killers, I enjoy the mental challenge of figuring out a way to get away with murdering someone. I always pick the "evil" path in games, and my writing has been critiqued before as "too violent." I'm just coming out of a stint in a psychiatric hospital for MDD and OCD, as I'm sure that affects the situation.Okay, I've got a psychological question. Is it a bad sign that I enjoy violence so much? I'm 21 years old, I feel like I should have outgrown this...