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I'm often very cynical, but I feel ashamed when I express it to others. Like I'm engaging in some pity party.

I'm trying to explore this shame of cynicism. No one argues that there are unscrupulous people in the world, and looking out for oneself in such situations isn't called cynicism: it's common sense. But I find my cynicism and shame flares up when it's not clear if the situation requires caution, and exercising caution could cause offense. e.g. dealing with a real estate agentashamed of my cynicism